ORDER OF THE SCIENCE SCOUTS OF EXEMPLARY REPUTE AND ABOVE AVERAGE PHYSIQUE

society_badge

I want to be a member of this most prestigious Order!!!

Here are the badges for which I deem myself worthy:

talking_science

The “talking science” badge

Because as a scientist, I can talk science like nobody’s bizness. It’s true. Ask anyone.

blog

The “I blog about science” badge

Just look at the darned thing! Bloggity-blog, sciencey-science. It has something to do with inching ever closer to the completion of my PhD, I am pretty sure of it.

no_quackery

The “destroyer of quackery” badge

Oh, nothing makes me angrier than when someone has some phoney bologna story that they read on the intarweb or saw on the news that they claim is science… but is SO NOT!

science_ninja

The “I may look like a scientist but I’m actually also a ninja” badge

Don’t make me have to send out my ninja assassins to prove this to you.

math_prowess

The “I will crush you with my math prowess” badge

Years of torture at the hands of university math departments left me scarred, but with potentially useful math superpowers!

practical_sci

The “I’ve done science with no concievable practical application” badge

Ok, that’s not necessarily true… but I sure don’t predict earthquakes! (or try to make a better bacon sandwich)

tadpole

The “I know what a tadpole is” badge

I do… and that badge just looks so… cool.

no_admin

The “I’m a scientist who is fundamentally opposed to administrative duties” badge

The day I go into line management is the day that I officially hang myself from the banister in the stairwell. Farewell, cruel world!

electric1electric2electric3

The “experienced with electrical shock” badge (LEVEL I-III)

Yep, have shocked another organism, another human, and most definitely myself. And have been shocked at the hands of another… damned experiments!

medical

The “science has forced me to seek medical attention” badge

Mental health counts, right? Though yes, I’ve had to seek a lot of medical attention over the years thanks to my science! Thanks a lot, science!

statistics

The “statistical linear regression” badge

Yep, statistics, live it, love it. Wait… no!!! The horror!!!

volcano

The “active volcano is my research locale” badge

Ok… so not officially speaking… but I’ve been to two… including one in Antarctica. So I think it counts. And I study earthquakes… so I think it merits an honorary research locale of coolness!

pirate

The “I may look like a scientist, but I’m actually also a pirate” badge

Avast, ye mateys!

The “non-explainer” badge (LEVEL I)

Oh yes, it has gotten to the point where it is quite difficult for me to explain myself to family and friends… working my way up the ranks to Levels II and III.

Setting my sights on more badges… the world will be mine, yes it will!

Bwah ha ha ha!

2 Responses to “ORDER OF THE SCIENCE SCOUTS OF EXEMPLARY REPUTE AND ABOVE AVERAGE PHYSIQUE”

  1. Chris Says:

    I approve of this message.

  2. Jocelyn Says:

    You have broken the laws of reality by being both ninja and pirate.

    You have doomed us all!

    DOOMED!

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